Category Archives: JK

Jason Klamm’s blog posts.

Happy 13th Birthday, Us!

It’s Bar Mitzvah time, kids. StolenDress.com is 13 years old today. This year, we celebrate a number of milestones. Our first viral video is 15, Comedy on Vinyl turns 5 and is now in the earbuds of a few million listeners at WLOR.net, Dan and Jay’s Comedy Hour will hit 100 episodes, Lords of Soaptown is coming to DVD, and we’re rolling out our most unconventional feature film, piece by piece, through November.

I’m very proud that so much has happened through this website, especially since it originally started as a place for me to put my writing and resume.  I wanted it to be a gathering place for young filmmakers, but it ended up being a place where my collaborations could find an online home when they didn’t get sold to someone.

The thing I’m most thankful for, though, is that I’ve lucked into a group of writers, actors, directors and producers who have given of their time to help me get my dream projects done.  When I say “given,” I really mean that.  Our early projects, and a lot of them still, depend on collaborating for free to get stuff made.  This includes guys like Ray Nowosielski, Ryan Penington and Damien Salimeno shooting Lords of Soaptown for free.  This includes my actors, writers and directors, like Rachel Lynn, Scott Pettis, Chad Newman, Doug Wilkinson-Gray, Matt Saxe, TJ Cencula, Laura Napoli, Dan Gomiller, Allen Rueckert, Jeremy Guskin and a ton of other people who helped me struggle through figuring out the original Looking Forward for EIGHT YEARS.  This includes everyone who has put together a podcast and then let me distribute their shows, like Ari Jarvis, Dan Gomiller, Mike Worden, Richard Stroffolino, Matt Saxe and Levi Weinhagen, all of whom have at one time or another put their shows under the StolenDress banner.  It includes my wife, Jen, who edited my latest book, Post-Modem.  Anyone who helped me shoot our first webseries, InformNation, or the short film CSI: LA, or the pilot pieces for Dan and Jay’s Community Service, or Conan O’Brien’s Romance-A-Tee, or Ho! Christmas Tree or The Million McFly March.  My amazing improviser/actor/producers who are creating individual blogs for Looking Forward: 2016 are geniuses, in no small measure.

I have lucked into knowing a lot of brilliant people who I hope know that I love them and appreciate that they do such amazing hard work for me, often with less guidance than I should provide.  Thank you to everyone who trusts me enough to give me their time and their immense talent.

And dammit, Chad Newman, why did you propose that I buy this URL for no reason other than a whim, and why did I stick with it?

– Jason Klamm

The trailer for Looking Forward: 2016, because it makes me happy:

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Looking Forward, 2016

In 2012, we released the feature film Looking Forward for free, on YouTube. It took eight years to complete, and by 2012, there was more than enough footage to finally put together the story of my fictional alter ego of the same name, preparing for his run for the presidency for 2020 (and 2016). You can still watch the film for free, below.

Now, in 2016, the first campaign-eligible year of his campaign (almost, he’s eligible in July), the fictional Jason Klamm’s story continues. Only this time, it isn’t being told in a traditional way. This is the world’s first film sequel to exist as a series of video blogs by over a dozen characters in the world of the campaign. Starting in March, these video blogs will roll out, day by day, beginning with Jason’s first campaign video.

Each weekend, we’ll be posting a re-cap of the video blogs of the week, and you’ll also be able to follow the story in its entirety from the point of view of someone else, watching the campaign a bit too closely, at WatchingForward.worpdress.com.

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The Million McFly March is Tomorrow, From 9 AM to 6 PM! Here’s the Schedule

9 AM: Selling of raffle tickets, music begins and photo booth starts up

10:00: Costume contest #1

10:30: Raffle #1

11:00: Prop Contest #1 – Bring your props, too!

11:30: Raffle #2

12:00: Trivia Contest #1

12:30: Raffle #3

1:00: Hoverboard Decorating Contest – We bring the hoverboards, you decorate them and get your picture taken with them

1:30: Raffle #4

2:00: Karaoke

2:30: Raffle #5

3:00: Trivia Contest #2

3:30: Minor Strut Plays Set #1

4:00: Costume / Prop Contests #2

4:30: Minor Strut Plays Set #2

5:00: Final Raffle – Movie tickets for the Noon, 10/22 premiere of the documentary Back In Time!

5:30-6:00: Closing Ceremony / Final Group Photo

Raffle tickets will be available throughout the day and are $1 each. All proceeds go to TeamFox, so the more tickets you buy, the better chance you have to win, and the more you’re giving to charity. And the Clock Tower.*

There will be limited amounts of free bottles of water and apple slices, donated kindly by Burger King. Even though the BK is under renovation, they’re STILL hosting us, because they’re awesome. When you get really hungry, stop by Pizza Rev Burbank and 20% of what you buy will go to TeamFox.

Prizes for contests will include special event-only Million McFly March Logo t-shirts, McFly Family photos, Million McFly March posters and other items.

Download a PDF of this schedule here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B18JxW8yhSMJRVRxQnZCdmNBM3M

*Not really going to the non-existent clock tower, if you were wondering.

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Why did New York City reject my suggestions for the Freedom Tower? (3/5/04)

(Originally posted 3/5/04) By Jason Klamm

In case you’re unaware, yesterday New York City held a ceremony to celebrate the finished design for the building to take the place of the World Trade Center. Called “The Freedom Tower,” it will stand 1,776 feet. I suggested rounding up to 1,780 feet, because round numbers just make it sound taller. But then again, they rejected all of my ideas.

I will say, firstly, that I am pleased to hear they changed the name of the building from “The French Tower,” because that’s just not in the American spirit, it doesn’t seem. But the building, to my somewhat trained eye, still just doesn’t seem to project the power they were looking for. With it’s tapered design, it doesn’t seem as stable as so many of the buildings surrounding it.

My suggestions began with two stabilizing structures at the bottom. Were I to be in charge of increasing New York’s tourism and image, I’d want to recall to the visitor’s mind something of a theme park, without being so frivolous. Inspired by Disney’s Epcot Center, I submitted a slightly revised blueprint of the building featuring two geodesic domes at the base, in which would be museums, terrariums, solar power transmitters and a Starbucks.

I was most perplexed by their rejection of the solar power idea. After all, this new design contains giant wind turbines to power almost half of the Freedom Tower. But could these turbines provide the necessary electricity to power the fountain I’d planned in place of its radio antenna? Using an incredible 1,000 gallons per cycle (recycling it of course in my version’s built-in reservoir), the Freedom Fountain would gush about eight times a second, shooting high enough to be seen by the entire city! Tell me, could a soul be left unimpressed?

It seems that perhaps my ideas were a bit too forward-thinking for the city planners of New York City. But I doubt it’s too late to make a few suggestions to those advertising the new structure. After all, the root of success is advertising. What better way to say “Welcome,” “Bring It On,” “Capitalism is Fun” and “Hey, Pal, I Like Your Style” than by saying “The Freedom Tower: Here’s Mud in Your Eye.” That’s what I thought.

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I’m on Jackie Kashian’s “The Dork Forest” this week!

I’m super-proud to have been invited on Jackie Kashian’s legendary podcast “The Dork Forest,” in which I ramble like a genius for an hour about the many things she decided to let me talk about because she’s way too nice.  Jackie was so gracious and funny, and I was honored to be invited on.  Give it a listen here!

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