Dear E-Mail Recipient: This is Not SPAM (From Jason Klamm’s blog) –

Dear Recipient of This E-Mail,

I want to thank you for your time in quickly making the consideration as to whether or not this e-mail is “SPAM,” or “junk mail.”  Let me quickly assure you this is not.  It is actually a cleverly-worded blog post by comedian and auteur Jason C. Klamm, B.A., pulled by a thoughtless aggregator with no concept of – or appreciation for – true art, thrown into a piece of mass-mailing software.  By sheer luck, it has ended up with you – a person who appreciates things.  It is my goal, then, to turn this e-mail – provided, of course, that your existing junk filters haven’t thrown this into the ether – into a spiritually- (at least) customized piece of digital art for your consumption and, if you wish, your dissemination by whatever means you deem necessary (neither telephone poles nor a co-worker’s desk can be flagged for spam!).

I do not require your money, your passwords, or your cooperation beyond simply reading on if, again, your filters deem it possible.  I simply ask that you realize that you are not reading SPAM.  Because you aren’t.  I promise.  There’s not even a silly ironic button at the end of this post.  It’s just for you.  And all of the people you choose to share it with.  While I promise to never e-mail this out myself, I’m happy it managed to reach you.  A lover of all things artistic and good.

To further prove this is not fake, I will paste below an image of me composing said post/e-mail.  While this will not, likely, end up in this potential attempt at SPAM, if you search for “flergymops,” (a nonsense term I hope does not end up filtered due to its lack of place in a conventional English “dictionary”) in quotes, by the time this e-mail reaches you, this image should – I hope – be the only online result for this query.


Please, feel free to hunt down the exact text of this message to find my blog, as any URLs, e-mail addresses and other identifiers are more than likely to red-flag this message in a SPAM filter.  I await your feedback and, I hope, your immense love and appreciation for my cleverness.  That was not a button.

I Thank You Sincerely,

Jason C. Klamm, B.A.